The Ending of an Era

I wrote this a long time ago (on my 30th eve) but am obviously behind on my posts:

Tomorrow is my birthday.  It is kind of a big one.  I'm turning 30 you see.  I haven't had any freak outs, meltdowns or cry fests.   Mostly, I've just done a lot of thinking.  I can't believe that I am hours away from 30. But then I realized, I've earned it dang it!

Sometimes my knees ache when I am sleep deprived or when I've been on my feet for too long in flats.

But my knees have also carried me into the Pyramids, over Hells Backbone, through endless tulip fields, and a whole half marathon. I've danced in the rain and in cars and at concerts and in kitchens and at Junior Prom and a Navy Ball.  I've hiked and climbed and repelled and fallen and flown.

But most importantly, my knees have connected me with God.

My eyes have lots of crinkles (I'm not ready to call them wrinkles yet and I may or may not have bought eye cream for the first time in my life this last year) around them.

But my eyes have also seen the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, the Alamo, the Green Monster, the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls and the Dome of the Rock.  They've witnessed minuscule and mighty miracles.  They've soaked up the words from countless pages and decrypted countless facial expressions (sometimes not so accurately).

But most importantly, every single one of those "crinkles" prove that I have had millions upon millions of reasons to laugh and smile and feel.

Sometimes, my hands ache.

But my hands have also entwined with others, dug in the sand, tied little shoes, clung to cliffs, strummed a guitar (poorly), rolled dough, thrown pots, tickled tummies, pitched tents, built forts and cast lines.  They've created and clasped and twisted and threaded and reached and healed and fixed.

But most importantly, they have connected me with others through the power of touch.

I have sunspots on my face. And when they first appeared this last year, I despised them.  But then I remembered: My face has been kissed by the sun on beaches up and down both coasts.  I spent my childhood on the beaches of Hawaii and in the backyard and in trees and in boats and on trampolines and mountains.

But most importantly, the sunspots prove God has always given me a reason to look up.

It is inevitable that each future year will bring new aches and pains and scars but hopefully, I'll get the chance to earn those too.

And now... Some Tim Time:

"I think I'll take a moment and celebrate my age.  The ending of an era and the turning of a page."

I'm not sad to be turning 30, I am celebrating it.  In this last era I've dreamed and I've despaired.  I've achieved and I've failed.  I've let go and sometimes I've held on too tight.  I've fallen. I've flown. I've loved. I've lost. I've laughed. I've cried. I've lived.  These 30 years that make up my life have been unexpected and hoped for and prayed for and feared.  There have been twists and turns but at every corner I have been blessed.  So very blessed. 

As I turn this page I find myself on my knees with a heart full of gratitude and a fat smile of anticipation that makes my eyes crinkle.  Thankfully, I am walking this journey while holding the hands of people I love and who love me back.  And my face is angled up, up, up... into the sun.  I can't wait for my next 30 years.