Through His Eyes

I should be sleeping but I can't.  Maybe it's because I took way too long of a nap, way too late in the day.  Maybe it's because I am counting my blessings and I am pretty sure that I can't count high enough.

How about I list just a few of these said blessings?

My family.  Oh my family.  Where would I be without them?  They have molded and shaped me, loved and supported me.  And still do.  They always made time for me.  And still do.  They are shining examples of how to live the gospel, how to serve and how to enjoy life.  I am fully aware that not everyone considers their parents and siblings (and their spouses) their best friends.  But I do.  I don't know why the Lord was so generous with me.  But He was.  I love them more than I could ever put to words.   

I found (more like the Lord found) an employer.  But not just any employer.  One that is willing to fill out all of my legality paperwork.  One that is honest and fair.  One with a beautiful family that I love to be around.  An employer that is making it possible for me to stay here.  An employer that will never fully be able to understand just how grateful I am.

I live with a family that feels like an extension of my own.  This move has given me another sister and brother-in-law, 2 more nieces and 2 more nephews.  I have said it a million times but I would not have survived this transition without them.  We get along so unbelievably well.  We laugh a lot.  And sometimes we cry.  We sing and dance and twirl and listen to music and eat cookies and talk and talk and talk.  I love them.  I would be lost and lonely without them.  Being away from my own family is hard.  Living with them makes it better. 

I get to work with 26 of the worlds most amazing Young Women.  I love them and their unique personalities.  I love the fresh view they have of the gospel.  I am humbled by their bravery.  I am touched by their faith.  I am overwhelmed by the love that I have for them.

I have amazing friends.  They inspire me.  Some of them live close, a lot of them live far away (which makes me thankful for technology: what did we ever do before Skype, Facebook, Blogs, Phones and Email?).  I love them and the good lives that they lead. They are true friends that I trust with my life and with my heart.  They are my cheerleaders and my confidants.  I love laughing with them, swapping memories and creating new ones.

I go to a ward full of people that I love.  They have welcomed me back with open arms and constantly show and express their support.  I get hugs and phone calls and hand shakes and smiles and kind words.  I don't feel like a foreign outsider.  They have allowed me to be one of them.

(Okay, so I know what you are thinking..."wow girl, that's a whole lot of love."  And it is.  I have never felt so loved nor so capable to love.  I feel like the Lord is showering it on me along with all this crazy Dutch rain.  It really has been such a special gift.  It was actually one of the things that dad blessed me with the night before I left.  Did I mention that the Priesthood is another thing that I am grateful for?)  

Three months ago I could never have imagined the blessings that the Lord had in store for me.  I was afraid when I stepped on that plane.  Peace immediately followed, so did the trials.  I thought the trial was just getting here.  But it wasn't.  Okay so it was, but that was only the beginning.

There have been some sleepless nights.  There were unbelievable amounts of stress and worry.  There were uncomfortable situations, strangers, new surroundings and uncertainty.  I am sorry to say that at times I doubted and wondered how the Lord was going to make this stay here possible.

I along with Peter have felt humbled by the words of the Savior, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?". 

 

Heavenly Father asked me to come here.  I put up a fight but I couldn't ignore His voice.  And because I came, a whole new level of happiness has come into my life - one that I have never been to before.  He has organized and orchestrated something far more intricate and beautiful than I could have ever imagined.  He is blessing and sustaining me in countless ways.  I thought that it was this big sacrifice to move here.  I left my family, my friends, my income...my life.  But it turns out that I have been GIVEN way more than I GAVE.  I still have my family and my friends (and have found more along the way).  My income is, well...coming.  My life.  My life - I didn't lose it, I found it.  My perspective has changed.  I see my life through His eyes now instead of through my own.  And I got to tell you: His view is a heck of a lot better.