Did that sound dramatic enough? Simply put, I needed a change. I wish the change could have come from within but it didn't. I just didn't have it in me. I was devastated that the Netherlands hadn't worked out. I had worked and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited. Have you ever waited for a train that never came? It sucks.
All my family was amazing through my "dark days." They all knew I was struggling and were as previously mentioned, amazing.
But I needed a new start. I needed it so so so much. Kendall asked me one day if I wanted to live with them for awhile in Arizona until I got things figured out. I still cry when I think about that moment. He knew I needed a change and then handed me the key (his house key to be exact).
It took awhile. It took some thinking and soul searching and then I just jumped with this crazy, desperate look in my eyes. At the time I wasn't sure if it was the right decision but at least it was A decision.
A choice. A change. A beginning (or perhaps the ending of something).
And this is what I found the morning after I got to my new A.
Hadley, doing the dishes in her diaper. Perhaps if I washed the dishes (not in a diaper) on my tiptoes I too would have rock hard calves.
We took a trip to the mall that day to do some shopping and let the kids jump (see picture below).
This is how much they love having their pictures taken.
Don't worry, I'll wear them down. It is only a matter of time.
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